“Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a man deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost…….
Despair is the ultimate development of pride so great and so stiff-necked that it selects the absolute misery of damnation rather than accept happiness from the hands of God and thereby acknowledge that He is above us and that we are not capable of fulfilling our destiny by ourselves
But a man who is truly humble cannot despair, because in the humble man there is no longer any such thing as self-pity.”
Thomas Merton pg 185 New Seeds of contemplation